Beginning with Forgiveness
Betrayal. Grief. Sadness. Loneliness. These words defined much of the last year for me. In the midst of devastating loss, I turned to the Lord with big questions. What’s next, Lord? How can I start over from here? What are you preparing me for in all of this? And most importantly, how can I forgive someone who has caused me so much pain?
How are you starting this new year? Are you carrying any pain with you from last year? Is there any bitterness in your heart? Is there someone you need to forgive? Maybe it’s a wrong that was done to you many years ago. Perhaps it’s been easier to hold on tightly to the hurt than to let it go.
I found myself wrestling with the idea of forgiveness this past year. I wondered if it was possible to forgive someone without having received an apology. I brought my questions to the Lord, and I dove into my Bible. It was there that I found a beautiful story of forgiveness and redemption. Perhaps this story will minister to you as well.
While I struggled with feelings of betrayal and hurt, I was compelled by the person of Joseph. Joseph is a prominent figure in the book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible. He was no stranger to betrayal, and yet his story is one of forgiveness and of God’s provision. I spent many nights reflecting on the story of Joseph. I also wondered about the years of his life that the Bible doesn’t talk about. Did he wrestle with the same questions that I have? Did he toss and turn at night, unable to find peace?
For those of you who aren’t familiar, let’s take some time to review the story of Joseph as we find it in the Bible.
Joseph is born to a prominent man in the Bible, Jacob. Jacob adores Joseph, and makes this known within the family by giving Joseph a beautiful and ornate coat (the amazing technicolor dreamcoat of course!) But here is the kicker: Joseph has 11 other brothers, and let’s just say, none of Joseph’s other brothers are getting any fancy colorful coats from their father. Understandably, Joseph’s brothers are jealous of the affection that Joseph receives from Jacob and this is only made worse by some dreams that Joseph describes to them. In one dream, his sheaf of grain rises up while his brother’s sheaves of grain bow down to it. In another dream, Joseph describes the sun, moon and eleven stars bowing down to him. Joseph’s brothers are outraged by these dreams which seem to suggest that they will bow down before Joseph. In fact, these dreams are so disturbing to them that they soon plot to kill him.
Joseph’s brothers are out grazing their flocks in another town and their father asks Joseph to go out and check on them. There isn’t an explanation in the Bible as to why Joseph wouldn’t have already been out grazing with the rest of his brothers, but it is possible that his status as the favorite child would have meant that he stayed closer to home with his father. In any case, he happens to be wearing his fancy coat when his brothers notice him walking towards them.
When his brothers see him, they refer to him as the dreamer, and they make a plan: “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.” Genesis 37:20
That’s quite the plan, isn’t it? This verse reveals the sin in the hearts of Joseph’s brothers. They are so overcome by their own envy and jealousy that they want to end the life of their brother, their own flesh and blood.
I want to emphasize that the plot against Joseph reveals more about Joseph’s brothers than it does about Joseph himself. Can you relate to that in your own life? Perhaps you’ve struggled with your own feelings of self-worth based on how someone or some group of people has acted against you. I know I have.
It took me a long time to correct this kind of thinking. It took me a long time to realize that the actions of someone else are often a reflection of their own hurt and pain and have very little to do with me. When people are hurting, their tendency can be to put that pain on someone else. The jealousy that Joseph’s brothers experienced was likely rooted in the pain they felt at being unworthy of their father’s love. Their actions reveal the bitterness that can infect a person’s heart when it clings to the hurt. Like Joseph, however, we have a choice to make when people act against us in this way. We can become bitter and resentful, or we can look to the Lord for our healing and restoration. We can extend forgiveness even when the person who has hurt us hasn’t asked to be forgiven.
One of Joseph’s brothers makes a small suggestion that ends up saving Joseph’s life. Instead of killing him, his brother Reuben suggests that they simply throw him into an empty cistern (a pit about 12 feet deep that was used for storing rainwater). The Bible notes that Reuben’s plan had been to come back and get Joseph later. When Joseph finally meets his brothers, he is stripped of his beautiful coat and thrown into the cistern. Later, a group of Ishmaelites is traveling towards Egypt and once again, the selfishness of Joseph’s brothers takes the spotlight. Another brother, Judah, realizes that they can make some money off of Joseph by selling him to the Ishmaelites and just like that, Joseph is sold for twenty shekels. The Bible isn’t clear about this, but it seems as though Reuben must have stepped away from his brothers for a little while, because when he returns to the cistern, he is shocked to find that Joseph is no longer there, and he tears his own clothes in anguish. The brothers then slaughter a goat and put the blood on Joseph’s stolen coat, which they later present to their father, who is said to mourn the loss of Joseph for many days.
I am overcome by the all too familiar pattern of sin that we witness through Joseph’s brothers. Isn’t it interesting to see the domino effect that sin can have in our lives? Their envy leads them to plot murder, then instead they trade the life of Joseph in exchange for money. These actions lead to further deception, and they convince their own father that his beloved son is dead. It’s never just one small lie, is it? It’s never just one small sin. It’s one small step towards another small step, and after a while, you realize just how far you’ve wandered away from where you really want to be.
“It’s very common for people to ask the question, why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? ”
The reality is that we live in a fallen and sinful world, and the Lord has given us free will. Our sin nature is demonstrated in the Bible over and over again. But God is without sin and there is literally no evil in him. To contrast, we are told to be on guard because “[our] enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” The devil comes only to steal, kill and destroy, so like Joseph’s brothers, when we allow sin into our lives, we are giving the devil space to operate in our lives.
But praise God that this isn’t the end of the story for Joseph! In fact, just as the Bible promises us in Romans 8:28, God works all things together for Joseph’s good. Upon arriving in Egypt, Joseph is sold again, this time to Potiphar, one of Pharoah’s officials. Through all of this, Joseph is never outside of God’s good plans. Joseph’s new circumstances don’t have any effect on the goodness of God. Aren’t you glad that is true of our circumstances as well? I know I am!
If you’re familiar with this story, you already know that these acts of sin and deception are the beginning of a beautiful work of redemption. God wasn’t finished with Joseph’s story, and he’s not finished with yours either.
It’s not a quick redemption process though, and that part is difficult for me to wrap my head around. When Joseph is brought to Egypt, he is imprisoned and remains in prison for many years. His faithfulness during that time, however, is unwavering. That prison might look different for you. Are you imprisoned in your own mind? Does it feel like there isn’t a path forward out of your current circumstances? Can I take a moment to breathe some life into your situation? Here are three realities that I want you to consider:
“God is good, even when your circumstances are bad.
There is nothing you or anyone else can do that can diminish the goodness of God.
There is nothing you or anyone else can do to interfere with the plans that the Lord has for you.
”
Did you get that last one? Can you read it again? You know that thing you did that still haunts you today? You know that thing that someone else did to you that robbed you of your peace and joy? None of those things can interfere with the plans that the Lord has for you.
When Joseph was sold into slavery, the story could have ended there. That could have been the last we heard of him. But it wasn’t. In fact, it was only the beginning of his story of redemption. Through a crazy series of events, including the interpretation of dreams, Joseph becomes the Pharoah’s right hand man. With Godly wisdom, he prepares the nation of Egypt for famine. In fact, his leadership makes Egypt a beacon of provision during the famine, and other nations travel to Egypt to purchase food. This is actually the reason why Joseph meets with his brothers again. And that is is the best part of the story. It’s the part where we witness the immense beauty demonstrated in an act of forgiveness.
During a devastating famine, Joseph’s brothers travel to Egypt to find provisions. In fact, after Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, he says this:
“But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.” Genesis 45:7
There is no bitterness in Joseph’s heart. He could have approached his brothers with anger and unforgiveness. Instead, he recognizes that God was always a part of his story, even amidst the devastation of his circumstances.
That’s true for your story as well. He hasn’t abandoned you. Your life may look different than you thought it would. But he is still there, and he’s making it beautiful.
As you begin this new year, so full of hope and possibility, is there any bitterness or unforgiveness that you need to let go of before you can move forward into the beautiful plan and promises that the Lord has in store for you?
I pray this is a year of beauty for you, even if some of that beauty comes from pain.
